Jongleur

by Enlightened Madness

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about

A collection of twelve pop folk rock songs in the singer songwriter tradition. These recordings were made with a keen interest in authentic creative expression. This CD was recorded with some great local Bay Area studio musicians.

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released November 15, 2008

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about

Enlightened Madness Oakland

Enlightened Madness is the result of the long standing collaboration between Daniel Mandel's songwriting and S. Henry McCoy's vocal harmonies and vocal arrangements. Daniel and Henry have recently teamed up with Steve La Porta on drums and percussion as well as other Bay Area musicians. Daniel has also cowritten with some wonderful lyricists in the US and Internationally. ... more

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Track Name: Brave Open Love
BRAVE OPEN LOVE
words & music by Daniel Mandel

(It’s a) Brave Open Love
That breaks through the sadness
Like enlightened madness

Separated from a dream of love
Even though we share that dream
Underneath the stars
Patterns of bright constellations

Can you see that they’re changing?
Push them down and out of sight
Push them down unanswered prayers
Pushing down on stars

This is different from a dream of love
This is a careful warning
this is grief transforming
This is a healing transformation

This is a nourishing sensation
Open up into the light
Open up to hear the prayers
We are guided by stars
Track Name: Lucky
Lucky
Did you get lucky last night?
I got nervous, I got confused
I got embarrassed, I was being used
I was sure, I was being cruised
But that boy, was just bad news

Lucky
Did you get lucky last night?

Eyes, it’s always eyes across the bar
It’s always loud – and crowds – and how do you do
You’ll do just fine
Do you want to get lucky?
I know a place where we can go…

Lucky
No I didn’t get lucky last night
I can’t keep doing this
I can’t keep waking up and wondering why
I can’t keep rolling the dice and being mystified

Lucky
No I didn’t get lucky last night

Lucky
Did you get lucky last night?
I got a stranger who didn’t know that I was lying there
I got mad at myself, just for even being there

Lucky
No, I didn’t get lucky last night
Track Name: Remember Who I Am
REMEMBER WHO I AM
Time isn't like a line
Life doesn't have a shape
Don’t hold on too tight
Or else it might just break

Our juggler drops the ball
We turn to ancient ways
when all this tumbles down
Can modern minds prevail?

I Need to remember who I am
Get back to myself again
This gift you give me when you're near me
I’m disappearing once again

Mind doesn't have a form
It doesn’t have a source
Spreading out until it’s gone
No path, no way, no more

When nothing else distracts me
Why does your voice relax me?
When all this will fades away
Will modern minds prevail?
Track Name: Train My Heart
TRAIN MY HEART
music and lyrics by Daniel Mandel © 2008 Jongleur

I’ve trained my feet to fall
To keep on going after all
In a direction of my choice
But I don’t know if I can train my heart

I’ve trained my mouth to move
So that I can verbalize my truth
And hear the sound of my own voice
But I don’t know if I can train my heart

I don’t know if I can train
My heart to be open stay you

I haven’t found the discipline
When someone’s heart won’t let me in
To walk away like it’s OK
Because I cannot train my heart

I learned what sex should be
Mostly through pornography
Disconnected from the rest of me
Now I have to connect my heart

I’ve trained my hands to play
And then quickly get out of the way
So as not to interfere with the song
But I don’t know if I can train my heart

I end up counting hours like a thief
I don’t want to be paralyzed by grief
I can’t train a feeling not ache
I can’t train my heart not to brake

I’ve trained my eyes to see
To understand what’s in front of me
Now I stand in front of you
I want to open up my heart
Track Name: She Said
She Said

I got another letter
and I don’t know what to do
I tried to explain
and I don’t want to argue

She said you fear what I want the most
I said, “I fear…
That what you want the most
I don’t want at all
I don’t want at all”

People who know the truth
Still tell lies
People who don’t succeed
Are still supposed to try
They’re still supposed to try

You know I could write a letter
That would rip that girl apart
Why can’t she understand
That I just can’t play that part
Track Name: The Promise
THE PROMISE

I kept the promise

At least to myself
I’m still a child
in spite of myself
I always wanted
To live life this way
have this adventure
Discover this place

Aren’t we in love
Why don’t we just dance?
Why don’t we just fly?
When we get the chance?

What’s on the other side?
That scares us half to death
Aren’t we the love
That won’t allow itself

You kept the promise
At least you’re still here
still with this child
inside of this fear
You made your way
Along this same road
made this a place
To call this your own

Here we are so why?
Why not take that chance?
To walk into the air
Have ourselves that dance

The ground is where we were
It’s Not so far to fall
Not so much to lose
Aren’t we love after all?
Track Name: Only
ONLY

I only looked into her eyes
I only saw the girl as light
I only glimpsed the goddess
I only noticed when she smiled

I only watched her as she danced
I only held the space for her
I only sat there in a trance
I only breathed between that girl

I only wondered as she dared
I only saw the risks she took
I only felt myself inside
I only held her when she shook

I only barely held her gaze
I only learned what she would teach
I only managed to keep up
I only saw how far she’d reach

I only helped her if she asked
I only took what she gave
I only loved her as she wanted
I only know her as I saw her on that day

Maybe you know her different
You may have known her all your life
She may be someone else to you
I only know her as I saw her on that day
Track Name: Hide
Hide

I hide from you
inside a conversation
these words I use
avoid a confrontation

I’m in plain view
but in this situation
my slight of tongue
just like a magician

If I act as Shame
If I think as Fear
If I live as doubt
will this be as clear
If I Live as love
If I am as love
If I act as Love?

I don’t reveal
my truthful aspect
because if you knew
then I might be suspect

I hide from you
behind a witty comment
I dodge your glance with a smile
to conceal me in this moment

If I act as Shame
If I think as Fear
If I live as doubt
will this be as clear
If I Live as love
If I am as love
If I act as Love?
Track Name: Plastic Wings
Plastic Wings
(music and lyrics by Daniel Mandel)
My plastic wings they set me free
out here where no one else can see
I close my eyes and lift above the clouds
above the city and the trees

Must have been lost recently
they left them for me to find
Clearly something that I need
to miss them you’d be blind

(with) Just enough hope to hang me
I flew too close, I clipped the sky
I bumped the sun, in front of everyone
My wings collide

I ran home to try them on
But I could not make them stay
I wanted to fly so badly
I had to find a way

My bruises almost healed now
but I cannot fix those wings
I wonder who left them there
A cruel joke, those cruel things

plastic pieces are all thrown away
there is one thing that I’ve found
those wings weren’t left behind for me
someone else has hit the ground, not to be found

I’m Free to laugh
Free to try
Free to Go
Free to fly

Free to Ask
Free to know
Free to Make mistakes as I go

Free to Live
Free to Try
Free to Dance
Free to fly

Free to Ask
Free to know
Free to Make mistakes as I go

Free to love
Free to See
Free to ask you if your FREE
Track Name: A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns
Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns

You leave me no choice
you just leave me
It’s sad to see you go this way
A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns
WHERE’s THE COMFORT WHEN YOU’RE DOWN?

We are drawing conclusions
an art in itself
Decide what you will you can see for yourself
A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns
TO CHALLENGE ANSWERS THAT YOU’VE FOUND

I can show you fear
in a handful of dust
I can show you fear
and show you I must

Inside you may feel
that you have reached
King of the hill at the top of the heap
A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns
TAKES ON NEW MEANING FROM THE GROUND

If you reap
what you sow
What you harvest ñ you must keep
A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns
IT LEAVES A SCREAMING SILENT SOUND
Track Name: I'll Let You Go
I'LL LET YOU GO

I hold this pillow like a lover
I only hold you on the weekend
I pull these feelings like a cover
over me instead of speak them

When I’m with you healing laughter
but I still have questions after
You do not put a voice to feeling
I will not insist you have to

I’ll let you go
I’ll let you go now
I’ll let you go

This bedroom like an echo chamber
Leaves us here without our voices
If we would only proclaim here
this place could resonate with choices

We’re dancing close but never touching
Hearing music without dancing
How does this feel inside your body
what is this question I am asking

CHORUS

I don’t know if I am needy
simply just because I need you
I don’t know if you would tell me
that you love me unless I leave you

Does it seem as though I dare you
Is it really me who scares you
without a voice that we can speak through
Yet you must know that I love you

CHORUS
Track Name: In The Moment
In the Moment
words and music by Daniel Mandel

The way my teeth feel in my mouth
Like foreign boys lined up for school
The way my tongue feels in my throat
An astronaut’s rehearsed hello, I love you

I want you to know
that I love you
in this moment that I love you
I want to be free
To tell you that I love you
In the moment that I love you

My hands they both have appetites
Neither one knows what to do
I hold my chest to this guitar
A lover’s plea, a lover’s fool