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Jongleur

by Daniel Mandel

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1.
BRAVE OPEN LOVE words & music by Daniel Mandel (It’s a) Brave Open Love That breaks through the sadness Like enlightened madness Separated from a dream of love Even though we share that dream Underneath the stars Patterns of bright constellations Can you see that they’re changing? Push them down and out of sight Push them down unanswered prayers Pushing down on stars This is different from a dream of love This is a careful warning this is grief transforming This is a healing transformation This is a nourishing sensation Open up into the light Open up to hear the prayers We are guided by stars
2.
Lucky 03:36
Lucky Did you get lucky last night? I got nervous, I got confused I got embarrassed, I was being used I was sure, I was being cruised But that boy, was just bad news Lucky Did you get lucky last night? Eyes, it’s always eyes across the bar It’s always loud – and crowds – and how do you do You’ll do just fine Do you want to get lucky? I know a place where we can go… Lucky No I didn’t get lucky last night I can’t keep doing this I can’t keep waking up and wondering why I can’t keep rolling the dice and being mystified Lucky No I didn’t get lucky last night Lucky Did you get lucky last night? I got a stranger who didn’t know that I was lying there I got mad at myself, just for even being there Lucky No, I didn’t get lucky last night
3.
REMEMBER WHO I AM Time isn't like a line Life doesn't have a shape Don’t hold on too tight Or else it might just break Our juggler drops the ball We turn to ancient ways when all this tumbles down Can modern minds prevail? I Need to remember who I am Get back to myself again This gift you give me when you're near me I’m disappearing once again Mind doesn't have a form It doesn’t have a source Spreading out until it’s gone No path, no way, no more When nothing else distracts me Why does your voice relax me? When all this will fades away Will modern minds prevail?
4.
TRAIN MY HEART music and lyrics by Daniel Mandel © 2008 Jongleur I’ve trained my feet to fall To keep on going after all In a direction of my choice But I don’t know if I can train my heart I’ve trained my mouth to move So that I can verbalize my truth And hear the sound of my own voice But I don’t know if I can train my heart I don’t know if I can train My heart to be open stay you I haven’t found the discipline When someone’s heart won’t let me in To walk away like it’s OK Because I cannot train my heart I learned what sex should be Mostly through pornography Disconnected from the rest of me Now I have to connect my heart I’ve trained my hands to play And then quickly get out of the way So as not to interfere with the song But I don’t know if I can train my heart I end up counting hours like a thief I don’t want to be paralyzed by grief I can’t train a feeling not ache I can’t train my heart not to brake I’ve trained my eyes to see To understand what’s in front of me Now I stand in front of you I want to open up my heart
5.
She Said 03:47
She Said I got another letter and I don’t know what to do I tried to explain and I don’t want to argue She said you fear what I want the most I said, “I fear… That what you want the most I don’t want at all I don’t want at all” People who know the truth Still tell lies People who don’t succeed Are still supposed to try They’re still supposed to try You know I could write a letter That would rip that girl apart Why can’t she understand That I just can’t play that part
6.
The Promise 03:18
THE PROMISE I kept the promise At least to myself I’m still a child in spite of myself I always wanted To live life this way have this adventure Discover this place Aren’t we in love Why don’t we just dance? Why don’t we just fly? When we get the chance? What’s on the other side? That scares us half to death Aren’t we the love That won’t allow itself You kept the promise At least you’re still here still with this child inside of this fear You made your way Along this same road made this a place To call this your own Here we are so why? Why not take that chance? To walk into the air Have ourselves that dance The ground is where we were It’s Not so far to fall Not so much to lose Aren’t we love after all?
7.
Only 04:57
ONLY I only looked into her eyes I only saw the girl as light I only glimpsed the goddess I only noticed when she smiled I only watched her as she danced I only held the space for her I only sat there in a trance I only breathed between that girl I only wondered as she dared I only saw the risks she took I only felt myself inside I only held her when she shook I only barely held her gaze I only learned what she would teach I only managed to keep up I only saw how far she’d reach I only helped her if she asked I only took what she gave I only loved her as she wanted I only know her as I saw her on that day Maybe you know her different You may have known her all your life She may be someone else to you I only know her as I saw her on that day
8.
Hide 03:44
Hide I hide from you inside a conversation these words I use avoid a confrontation I’m in plain view but in this situation my slight of tongue just like a magician If I act as Shame If I think as Fear If I live as doubt will this be as clear If I Live as love If I am as love If I act as Love? I don’t reveal my truthful aspect because if you knew then I might be suspect I hide from you behind a witty comment I dodge your glance with a smile to conceal me in this moment If I act as Shame If I think as Fear If I live as doubt will this be as clear If I Live as love If I am as love If I act as Love?
9.
Plastic Wings (music and lyrics by Daniel Mandel) My plastic wings they set me free out here where no one else can see I close my eyes and lift above the clouds above the city and the trees Must have been lost recently they left them for me to find Clearly something that I need to miss them you’d be blind (with) Just enough hope to hang me I flew too close, I clipped the sky I bumped the sun, in front of everyone My wings collide I ran home to try them on But I could not make them stay I wanted to fly so badly I had to find a way My bruises almost healed now but I cannot fix those wings I wonder who left them there A cruel joke, those cruel things plastic pieces are all thrown away there is one thing that I’ve found those wings weren’t left behind for me someone else has hit the ground, not to be found I’m Free to laugh Free to try Free to Go Free to fly Free to Ask Free to know Free to Make mistakes as I go Free to Live Free to Try Free to Dance Free to fly Free to Ask Free to know Free to Make mistakes as I go Free to love Free to See Free to ask you if your FREE
10.
Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns You leave me no choice you just leave me It’s sad to see you go this way A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns WHERE’s THE COMFORT WHEN YOU’RE DOWN? We are drawing conclusions an art in itself Decide what you will you can see for yourself A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns TO CHALLENGE ANSWERS THAT YOU’VE FOUND I can show you fear in a handful of dust I can show you fear and show you I must Inside you may feel that you have reached King of the hill at the top of the heap A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns TAKES ON NEW MEANING FROM THE GROUND If you reap what you sow What you harvest ñ you must keep A Ragged Pile of Heaping Clowns IT LEAVES A SCREAMING SILENT SOUND
11.
I'LL LET YOU GO I hold this pillow like a lover I only hold you on the weekend I pull these feelings like a cover over me instead of speak them When I’m with you healing laughter but I still have questions after You do not put a voice to feeling I will not insist you have to I’ll let you go I’ll let you go now I’ll let you go This bedroom like an echo chamber Leaves us here without our voices If we would only proclaim here this place could resonate with choices We’re dancing close but never touching Hearing music without dancing How does this feel inside your body what is this question I am asking CHORUS I don’t know if I am needy simply just because I need you I don’t know if you would tell me that you love me unless I leave you Does it seem as though I dare you Is it really me who scares you without a voice that we can speak through Yet you must know that I love you CHORUS
12.
In the Moment words and music by Daniel Mandel The way my teeth feel in my mouth Like foreign boys lined up for school The way my tongue feels in my throat An astronaut’s rehearsed hello, I love you I want you to know that I love you in this moment that I love you I want to be free To tell you that I love you In the moment that I love you My hands they both have appetites Neither one knows what to do I hold my chest to this guitar A lover’s plea, a lover’s fool

about

A collection of twelve pop folk rock songs in the singer songwriter tradition. These recordings were made with a keen interest in authentic creative expression. This CD was recorded with some great local Bay Area studio musicians.

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released November 15, 2008

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Daniel Mandel Oakland

I'm so glad you found my Bandcamp page! I am a singer songwriter, I play guitars, keyboards, strange synthesizers and amazing virtual instruments. I love the craft of songwriting. I am also a Life Coach and a podcaster! I am actually very down to earth and would welcome hearing from you! ... more

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